STE: Muggles
by ZenosParadox
Summary: RS friendship, Ma. Conversatoins on witchcraft and wizardry on movie night. Standalone, not a sequel.


Title: Muggles  
  
Author: ZenosParadox  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: RS friendship, Ma. Conversations on witchcraft and wizardry. Stand-alone, not a sequel.  
  
Disclaimer: The Enterprise characters belong to Paramount. The Harry Potter Movie belongs to Warner Brothers. The Harry Potter universe belongs to JK Rowling. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.  
  
MUGGLES  
  
The Enterprise Gym  
  
"Malcolm, how do you do it? I work out in the gym more often but you always manage to do more chin ups and push ups than I do!"  
  
"Try lugging around the heavy components for the phase cannons instead of sitting at helm all day. Besides, if you would quit making bets that I know I can't afford to lose, I'd let you win sometimes."  
  
"But this was just about asking Hoshi to go to the movie."  
  
"The last time I suggested a movie to her she turned me down flat. You remember, you were there. Now let's get in a run--and no more bets. You can beat me in a sprint but I've got endurance on you."  
  
"Hoshi was having a bad day that time, remember? Besides, you didn't actually ask her for a date, you just sort of mumbled something lame about needing an interpreter. OUCH!"  
  
"Oh, toughen up. I see we need to get some sparring in as well. Anyway, you've just described my problem with Hoshi, Travis. I can talk to her about work or books, we can even gang up on Trip or T'Pol--but then suddenly I'll act like a complete dunce around her!"  
  
"Yeah, I've noticed. Ha, I anticipated that punch. Listen, why don't you come to movie night anyway. She might just show up on her own, you know....The movie has explosions.... No subtitles... What if I can guarantee you she'll be there?"  
  
"Travis, why are you so intent on this match-making business?"  
  
"I'm pretty good at gauging people who belong together. Quit rolling your eyes. I'll have you know I not only set up my sister with her future husband, but also my two cousins, my best friend and even my widowed uncle."  
  
"Believe me, I don't think there's a woman out there who could put up with me for long. It's probably best that Hoshi keeps her distance from me."  
  
"But you'll go to the movie if I can guarantee Hoshi'll be there, right? Yes? Come on, what have you got to lose?"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Later that Day  
  
"Hey, Hoshi. Wait up. I'm a good sprinter, but I like to plan my workouts."  
  
"What's so important, Travis?"  
  
"Uh, well, movie night. I was hoping you'd say you'd go with us."  
  
"Who's us? You know I don't like being a third wheel."   
  
"That's just it; you wouldn't be odd man out. I promised Malcolm explosions so he agreed to go, but I know he'd prefer it if you were there, too."  
  
"What are you, a mind reader now?"  
  
"No, just a good people reader. Come on, Hoshi. Don't tell me you haven't noticed."  
  
"Noticed what?"  
  
"The way you're special to Malcolm. You know what he told me after we rescued them from the Shuttlepod One? He said that hearing your voice, knowing you were alive, made all the difference to him. Your voice meant hope."  
  
"Travis! He was just happy Enterprise was still intact, that we were all alive."  
  
"Hoshi, he said your name, not mine. Of course Malcolm was relieved we were all alive, but you've become more than just the comm officer to him."  
  
"If I have, why doesn't he tell me himself?"  
  
"Maybe he's afraid of you."  
  
"Afraid? Malcolm Reed is the Tactical Officer. Why would he be afraid of me?"  
  
"Maybe he's not quite sure about this."  
  
"Then you shouldn't be so sure, either."  
  
"So, you're not interested in him?"  
  
"I'm interested in the well being of all my friends, but--"  
  
"But, I guess I just imagine the little winks you throw his way. Or the way you look in his direction for reassurance. Or how much time you spend on target practice. Or--"  
  
"Alright, maybe I am interested, but I've been burned pretty badly in the past, Travis, and that's all I'm going to say about it. I don't want to jump into anything with anyone, certainly not aboard ship."  
  
"Look, all I'm asking is for you to be there at the movie, just relax and enjoy yourself. You know, wear your civvies, wear your hair differently. I'll bring the popcorn."  
  
"Alright, but I bet he won't even notice."  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Movie Night, Enterprise  
  
"Malcolm's not even here, Travis."  
  
"He had something come up in the armory that kept him from dinner. Don't worry, Malcolm said he'd make it in time for the movie as soon as I told him you were showing up. Just keep saving that seat by you."  
  
"At least the popcorn is good."  
  
"Is it really? Sorry I'm late. Thanks for saving me the seat, Hoshi."  
  
"You're welcome, Malcolm. Here, have some popcorn. I know you missed dinner."  
  
"Thanks... Did you do something different to your hair?"  
  
"It's a French braid. Do you like it?"  
  
"Oh, uh, yes. My sister typically wears her hair that way. I really should call her. I think I owe her two letters now."  
  
"Just get them to me as soon as you've finished them. Oh, it's about to start."  
  
------  
  
"You tricked me, Travis. This is Harry Potter!"  
  
"Yes, but anytime Seamus tries magic, things explode around him, so technically... Aw, come on, Malcolm. If you get scared of Fluffy or the Mountain Troll, just grab Hoshi's hand. She'll keep you safe."  
  
"Travis, may I remind you we have a sparring session tomorrow?"  
  
"If you two want to continue talking, why don't I just move--"  
  
"NO, Hoshi, you stay right there!"  
  
"Please, stay. Travis and I will argue tomorrow."  
  
"You know, Liz Cutler looks lonely over there. I'm going to go sit by her. Hoshi, you keep the popcorn; we don't want Malcolm to starve. See you two later."  
  
------  
  
"I've been to that zoo in London lots of times. I hate snakes, but Dudley falling in is one of my favorite scenes."  
  
"I take it you wouldn't have been sorted into Slytherin, Malcolm."  
  
"I think I'd be Gryffindor or maybe Ravenclaw. Used to dream about it as a boy, riding the Hogwarts Express, always wanted a snowy owl."  
  
"Hm, courage, a thirst to prove yourself. Yes, Gryffindor is a good match for you. I'm pretty sure I'd be Ravenclaw. Now, Travis would be a good Hufflepuff."  
  
"Yes, badgering is sometimes quite his style."  
  
------  
  
"Okay, Malcolm. Adult character you'd most want to be."  
  
"Well, I've always rather wished I could be Hagrid."  
  
-laughing-"Hagrid! Big, hairy, not too bright. He's your opposite."  
  
"But he's open, friendly, gets to play with magical creatures. And I've always rather fancied carrying a pink umbrella."  
  
-giggle-  
  
"Actually, it was riding the flying motorcycle that won me over. How about you, Hoshi?"  
  
"I wanted to be like Madame Hooch, flying on a broomstick, unafraid. I just like her spirited attitude."  
  
"Hm, yes, I could just see you now on your Nimbus 2000, buzzing over us poor fellows below, Porthos howling madly. Where's the popcorn?"  
  
------  
  
  
  
"Ollivander looks like my grandfather. He ran an antique bookstore in retirement. Gave me a signed copy of all the Harry Potter books."  
  
"Oh, I'd love to see them, Malcolm. I don't suppose you brought them with you."  
  
"Actually, I did. Madeline insisted I bring them... I'll show you in my quarters.... Mine would be ten and a half inches."  
  
-cough-"What?"  
  
"My wand."  
  
-coughing continues-  
  
"Swish and flick... You know, oak with dragon heartstrings at the--Oh, I'm sorry, Hoshi. I didn't mean--I'll just leave."  
  
"No, Malcolm. It's my fault. Popcorn got stuck in my throat...Um, my wand would be eight inches, cherry with unicorn tail at its core."  
  
------  
  
"Favorite candy. Mine would be Chocolate Frogs, but then women prefer chocolate."  
  
"Definitely Chocolate Frogs. I like the way the little buggers hop about."  
  
"Okay, worst flavor of Bertie Bott's Everyflavor Bean. Mine would be mustard."  
  
"Hm. Worst would be lima beans. Best would be--"  
  
"Pineapple! My favorite would be anything cheesecake."  
  
------  
  
"What about your favorite class? Mine would be transfiguration. I've always wanted to be able to bring my bunny slippers to life."  
  
"Your bunny slippers are alive without the benefit of magic. They certainly aren't inanimate."  
  
"You're just upset because you tripped on them last week when you brought me that report."  
  
"Yes, and luckily you cushioned my fall."  
  
"Luckily the bed cushioned mine... Is it getting warm in here?"  
  
"I haven't noticed. Does that bump on your head still hurt where I knocked you with my elbow?"  
  
"No, it's all better. So, what would your class be?"  
  
"Defense Against the Dark Arts. Or perhaps Potions. I always identified with Snape, even if he was Slytherin."  
  
------  
  
"Alright, Malcolm. How about favorite character, this time a student."  
  
"Easy. Ron Weasley. I loved his family, great mind for chess, clueless about girls."  
  
"My favorite was Hermione. She was a lot like me."  
  
"Brilliant, but scary sometimes. I'd have to agree."  
  
"I don't know if I like the sound of that."  
  
"Oh, look, here's the mountain troll. Ugh, the wand up the nose is still disgusting!"  
  
------  
  
"I just love the quidditch uniforms. Ravenclaw would look so cool with blue and gold."  
  
"Quidditch is more than just about fashion, Hoshi."  
  
"Alright then, Malcolm, how about Quidditch position? I think I'd make a good chaser. Couldn't be a beater and I'm obviously too small for a keeper."  
  
"I'd be too small to be a keeper, too. Need someone bigger like Trip or Travis. I think I'd be a beater. Have to be vigilant to keep the bludgers from harming your teammates. You know, Hoshi, you might have made a good seeker, like Cho Chang. She was Ravenclaw. You're very agile, great sense of balance."  
  
"Why, Malcolm, did you just compliment me?"  
  
"Where's the popcorn?"  
  
------  
  
"I wish I had a little dragon like that."  
  
"I can see why you'd want to be Hagrid, Malcolm. If you find a baby dragon you can keep it in sickbay next to Phlox's bat."  
  
"No, I'm sure Norbert would soon be able to eat the bat. I'd keep him in the cargo bay and train him to breathe fire on command."  
  
"Another weapon?"  
  
"Actually, I was thinking more about being able to toast marshmallows."  
  
-giggle- "I guess that beats having a hotplate in your quarters."  
  
"I suppose you'd want a unicorn?"  
  
"For the sheer beauty of the creature, yes, but actually I've always wanted my own Fluffy."  
  
"A rabid three-headed dog?"  
  
"It would be the ultimate in protection."  
  
"Until someone came around with some music to lull it to sleep. Besides, Fluffy'd probably chew up your bunny slippers." -grins-  
  
"Yeah, well, you better not train your dragon to flame them on sight."  
  
"It would be an honest mistake. He'd think they were marshmallows." -ow-  
  
------  
  
"What would you see in the Mirror of Erised, Malcolm?"  
  
"All of us still alive at the end of our mission... Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so melancholy. Probably to be captain of my own ship. You?"  
  
"I think it would show me being able to speak any language and being professionally recognized for my work. Oh, but with my own family, too."  
  
"Family? How many?"  
  
"Children? Um, I'm not sure. More than one, though. What about you, Malcolm?"  
  
"Not likely to happen."  
  
"Come on, don't tell me that men don't have ideas about children. I know Trip's already planning on a Charles Tucker the Fourth."  
  
"Trip is unique in many ways... I suppose if I did marry and have children it would be more than one. I was always glad I had Madeline. Wouldn't want a Malcolm Junior, though." -shudders-  
  
"Well, maybe you'll get lucky and have all girls."  
  
"That would be fine... It's not that I wouldn't want a son; I just wouldn't want him to be my clone."  
  
"Well your wife would be contributing to his gene pool, so you better find someone who's your complement rather than your copy."  
  
"You know, I think it is getting a bit warm in here."   
  
------  
  
"Here's one for you, Hoshi: favorite challenge. I actually liked the potions, but it was omitted from the movie. So, I have to go with the Wizard's chess."  
  
"I'm not surprised... Well, it's based on strategy and you get all that violent destruction..."  
  
"I think I've just been insulted."  
  
"No, I just think there are several elements that would appeal to your testosterone-afflicted brain."  
  
"Now I know I've just been insulted."  
  
"Actually, it's my favorite challenge, too."   
  
"So what would that indicate about your testosterone level?"  
  
"Hm, well, testosterone is supposed to be related to sexual arousal in both men and women."  
  
-coughing-  
  
"Run into a bad bit of popcorn, Malcolm?"  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Thanks for walking me back to my quarters, Malcolm, and for lending me the Harry Potter books. It's been ages since I read them."  
  
"It's no trouble at all, Hoshi."  
  
"Um, would you like to come in? To talk some more?"  
  
"I should go--actually, yes, I would like to stay. Just let me know if the way is clear of bunny slippers."  
  
--------  
  
"I should really go now, Hoshi. I didn't mean to keep you up so late."  
  
"I enjoyed it, Malcolm."  
  
"I'll just be going now, then."  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow... Oh, Malcolm?"  
  
"Yes, Hoshi?"  
  
"Why don't you call me Ensign anymore?"  
  
"I don't, do I? I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you by not using your title."  
  
"No, I'm not offended. I like that you feel comfortable using my first name. You don't mind that I call you Malcolm, do you?"  
  
"No, not at all. I've always thought my name sounded so stuffy, but when I hear you say it, the name sounds, well, you make it sound warm and not distant. I'm not explaining this well." -frown-  
  
"Yes, you are... Malcolm?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I'm not indifferent to you."  
  
"Ah, and that means?"  
  
"That means that things should move slowly, but that they should be moving."  
  
"Then can I see you again tomorrow night?"  
  
"I'd like that. I might even be able to find some marshmallows. Good night, Malcolm." -smiles-  
  
"Good night, Hoshi." -whistling-  
  
*****  
  
Author Notes:  
  
This was another exercise in using dialogue. Slight revisions from the original. A quick salute to those who introduced preferences or dislikes: JustVisiting for cheesecake, Shi Shi for lima beans and DINY for bunny slippers. 8 pages. Written July, 2002 and posted at LD.  
  
No reviews are necessary. Thanks for reading. 


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